I am feeling good - no symptoms to report yet, although I suspect they will hit soon if I am indeed carrying twins. And that is the subject of this post: I am totally freaked out by the idea of having twins. Obviously, this is quite an irrational swing. As my husband pointed out, it is a bit insane that just a month ago I was depressed over infertility, and now I am depressed at the idea of fecundity (well, fecundity on the infertile spectrum). What's more, my panic is extra-foolish in that I won't even know what the deal is until the end of the month, so I might as well not freak out about it.
But telling me not to freak out is like telling my dog that he might consider not barking at pedestrians. I am experiencing a crazy mix of gratitude, surprise, relief, fear that it won't work out, fear that it will work out, and much, much more. Now I understand why infertile women have a greater proclivity towards depression during pregnancy, which always struck me as a bit of a head-scratcher before.
I suppose this is all yet more evidence to support the Nobel-Prize-worthy theory I like to call You Can't Know What Something Is Like Until You Experience It, Unless You Are Really, Really Imaginative (Which Most People Think They Are, But Are Not).
I guess I just worry that I will fail if I end up having twins - ie, that I won't be (wo)man enough for the challenge. The insecurity!
Thanks for all the comments on the posts below; I really appreciate them!