Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Shama Laminaria Ding Dong

Normally, I am a well-informed (or "neurotic") patient, although it could be said that I apply a very self-centered and just-in-time philosophy to my collection of information. Still, by the time I reached the start of my stims for IVF#1, I knew how the process worked and what the general mechanism for each drug or event was. Yes, I ended up with some questions (e.g., "Why the F didn't it work?"), but I basically knew the drill. I knew why you'd do a standard protocol vs. a flare protocol, for example, as well as under what circumstances the RE would try to get you to a blast transfer vs. a day-three transfer. Stuff like that.

But I am bordering on irresponsibly uninformed about my FET. Many red flags have gone up in the dim and plaque-filled recesses of my brain, and I pay vague notice to these flags, only to shrug and say, "Eh." (In a Simpsons episode circa 1995, the following exchange occurs. Lisa: "Dad, I'm a member of the MTV generation. We feel neither highs nor lows." Homer: "Really? What's it like?" Lisa: [shrugs] "Eh.")

For instance, Larisa over at the Waiting Womb is in a similar situation. She has had failed two IVFs, has had difficult ETs both times, and is moving on to an FET. But there have been some differences - e.g., she had a baseline ultrasound to check for cysts. She did indeed have cysts. Her FET was delayed.

But no one has checked me for cysts - I simply started taking the Es*trace. After reading L.'s blog, I asked one of the nurses why I didn't get a baseline ultrasound. The answer seems to be that I'll have an ultrasound at my pre-op appointment five days before transfer. So I might have cysts then, and maybe I'll get cancelled, and then I'll have felt nauseated and bloated for four weeks for no reason. Great. But have I done anything about this? Eh.

Similarly, L. is getting a laminaria inserted pre-transfer to dilate her cervix and make transfer easier. So am I. But I am getting mine inserted for four hours tomorrow - i.e., three weeks pre-transfer. Why is this? Will it work? I have no idea. Maybe I'll ask tomorrow. Or maybe I'll just lie there and take it up the cervix like a woman.

I've even lost my drive to go post frantic questions on the message boards I frequent. Maybe this will be better for me in the end; maybe ignorance really does equal bliss. (Britney Spears would seem to indicate that ignorance does often result in pregnancy.)


My Reality said...

I hope that you get some of the answers tomorrow. I would be furious of I had taken all kinds of drugs to get cancelled at the last minute for something they could have easily checked for. Good luck.

Emmie said...

I think sometimes ours minds and hearts can nly handle so much information. Afterall, how much we know about the process really has no bearing on whether or not it will work. You are in the hands of an RE who has studied his ass off to be where he is, right? So, maybe an "eh" now and then isn't so bad. You may just need to go on autopilot right now. I'm laughing out loud at your Britney remarks, by the way. I so hate her ignorant fertility.

Hope548 said...

Hell, it can't hurt to go into it blindly one of these times! I'm typically like you, want all the answers ahead of time, but then sometimes I wonder if something about my controlling nature is what hinders pregnancy in my body... "just desserts"?