Normally, I am a well-informed (or "neurotic") patient, although it could be said that I apply a very self-centered and just-in-time philosophy to my collection of information. Still, by the time I reached the start of my stims for IVF#1, I knew how the process worked and what the general mechanism for each drug or event was. Yes, I ended up with some questions (e.g., "Why the F didn't it work?"), but I basically knew the drill. I knew why you'd do a standard protocol vs. a flare protocol, for example, as well as under what circumstances the RE would try to get you to a blast transfer vs. a day-three transfer. Stuff like that.
But I am bordering on irresponsibly uninformed about my FET. Many red flags have gone up in the dim and plaque-filled recesses of my brain, and I pay vague notice to these flags, only to shrug and say, "Eh." (In a Simpsons episode circa 1995, the following exchange occurs. Lisa: "Dad, I'm a member of the MTV generation. We feel neither highs nor lows." Homer: "Really? What's it like?" Lisa: [shrugs] "Eh.")
For instance, Larisa over at the Waiting Womb is in a similar situation. She has had failed two IVFs, has had difficult ETs both times, and is moving on to an FET. But there have been some differences - e.g., she had a baseline ultrasound to check for cysts. She did indeed have cysts. Her FET was delayed.
But no one has checked me for cysts - I simply started taking the Es*trace. After reading L.'s blog, I asked one of the nurses why I didn't get a baseline ultrasound. The answer seems to be that I'll have an ultrasound at my pre-op appointment five days before transfer. So I might have cysts then, and maybe I'll get cancelled, and then I'll have felt nauseated and bloated for four weeks for no reason. Great. But have I done anything about this? Eh.
Similarly, L. is getting a laminaria inserted pre-transfer to dilate her cervix and make transfer easier. So am I. But I am getting mine inserted for four hours tomorrow - i.e., three weeks pre-transfer. Why is this? Will it work? I have no idea. Maybe I'll ask tomorrow. Or maybe I'll just lie there and take it up the cervix like a woman.
I've even lost my drive to go post frantic questions on the message boards I frequent. Maybe this will be better for me in the end; maybe ignorance really does equal bliss. (Britney Spears would seem to indicate that ignorance does often result in pregnancy.)