...then I would be Warren fucking Buffett. Shit, man. My ultrasound showed I've now got billions of endometriomas, by which I mean "five," including a pretty big one. Yes, my uterine lining is really rather breathtaking in its plump beauty, but the endometriomas are responding to the same hormones with similar gusto. It is all rather discouraging, by which I mean "too depressing to contemplate, lest I start crying (again) right before I have to speak to a group of 40 people." I just want you all to know that if endometriomas do become valuable on the open market, I will donate them to the Gates Foundation.
My new favorite RE, who achieved his new status by virtue of not being pregnant, was more than willing to provide me with drugs for transfer. The words "We'll do whatever you want" were uttered, and I assure you that I was not armed at the time. The plan is for me to take ibuprofen, then dem*erol, then maybe phen*ergan if I am feeling barfy, then busp*ar (or something that sounds like that). AND, ladies and ladies, I will get my bladder drained post-transfer by a catheter, which I will not care about since I will not be caring about anything. Isn't it nice sometimes just not to care? So liberating.
But we have two hurdles in our way before transfer (that is, in addition to the nuclear-waste dump that is my uterus). One is my progesterone level, which is currently being checked to make sure I didn't ovulate. The other is that a series of snafus occurred, and my embryo-thawing consent form needs to be re-done, and I have to get it to them by 8:00am tomorrow. We get up early, so that shouldn't be a problem. (Famous last words?) We just need someone to witness it. I’ll try to find the one remaining person in town who doesn’t know I’m infertile.
Yesterday, I went to acupuncture, and my acupuncturist said my Qi is right on the surface and my kidney energy is strong, whatever that means.
Update: My progesterone was fine (0.5, low like they want it to be - no illegal ovulation here), so we will forge ahead as planned. I start progesterone-in-oil shots tonight, unbeknownst to my ass.
Update 2: They found my thaw-consent form, so we don't have to re-do it. That's a pleasant stroke of luck.