Sunday, October 01, 2006


Well, I still feel like shit. I realize that this blog is just one long complaint these days, so I'll try to keep the keening to a minimum.

I had an ultrasound last week when I was admitted to the hospital, and there were indeed two sacs in there. They both had heartbeats, but one had a much lower heartbeat that wasn't quite where they wanted it to be. The other one had a good heartbeat, and I am thankful for that. I'm assuming that the second one may not be lodging for long, and that is okay by me. I feel so weak all the time.

There are going to be some hard decisions about work for me, I think. If I quit my job (which I really like), I will lose not only my salary, but, more critically, my amazing health insurance. So I am trying to figure out some way to keep working, but do a lot more from home. I don't want to go into too many identifying details, but it is safe to say that this will be difficult, especially if the HG continues for a long time. We are seeing a high-risk maternal-fetal medicine doctor this week or next to discuss my situation.

I keep losing weight. My weight has been more or less constant my entire adult life - 125 lbs, give or take a few - and now I find myself well below that. I'm on Zofran around the clock, which is expensive, but I guess the upside is that I'm sure not spending any money on food, entertainment, or bigger clothes.

My husband has been wonderful. I can tell he's worried. He's also supposed to be out of town the next three weekends in a row, and I'm not sure I can handle being alone all that time. Our poor dog doesn't know what to make of me these days - I think he's a little afraid of me now since I no longer go on walks and spend most of my time immobile on the couch.


MSF said...

let me be the first to volunteer my nearly total availability for the next two weekends and part of the third. tv/movie marathons, hair braiding, whatever you want. anytime.

bihari said...

Let me be the second. Boys are out of town next weekend, so I am just here, and eager to walk dogs, serve crystallized ginger and Coke, fetch Zofran, carry you up and down stairs, and drive you to the hospital (one hopes that last won't be necessary, but, y'know...). MSF and I can tag-team.

steph said...

Sounds like you've got yourself quite an awesome little support team, and that's just from the 2 comment posters! That should ease your mind, at least about that part.
I hope you start feeling better so that you don't have to make any decisions about work. It has to be frustrating to have worked to hard to get pregnant only to find it to be a struggle in multiple areas of life. Hang in there. It will be worth it in the end~

Jane said...

How terrible that you're feeling this way. If I were in the IC, I'd be right there with MSF and Bihari.

Do your job benefits include short-term disability insurance? Or can you take some time off under the Family/Medical Leave Act, which would safeguard your position and benefits?

Rebecca said...

I'm sorry you're feeling so yucky. I hope you're able to resolve the work issue and that everything settles down for you soon.

Brando said...

We are also glad to help, as I expressed to said husband the other night. We are gone this weekend but should be around the next two. Let us know what you need. Although MSF is probably better at the hair braiding than I am (my efforts always turn out so gansta looking).

Feel better.

Midwestern Deadbeat said...

And I'll come running over from the DM--just say the word. I'll even leave Squig at home. It's high time he learn to forage in the back yard for berries and roots.

My Reality said...

I hope that you start to feel better soon. If not, I hope you can at least come up with a few solutions to make things easier. Can you take a leave of absense from work instead of quitting your job or working from home?

Sending lots of good vibes your way for you and the two heartbeats you got going on in there.

Hopeful Mother said...

I hope you start feeling better soon and figure out a way to work out your employment situation. There's always a battle to fight, isn't there?

I hope your 2 heartbeats keep on going strong - and yours too! Keep that Zofran close by.

Beth said...

Okay - this will take awhile for me to write what I want to say and I will still forget bunches, so I will probably email you more later. You are early enough to ask about steroid therapy - I wish someone had thought of it early enough to be efficaious for me. Also, go to for the latest in research, message boards, etc. Invest in Colace and take it immediately - its the dirty secret of Zofran - although you probably know that by now. Miralax can be Rxed by your dr for "easy" help. Has a PICC line been considered? That *may* help you continue to work - but my advice is to look into short term disability - most employers have it. I feel your pain - truly. I am so, so sorry you are riding this damn ride.

Also - the goal is to stay hydrated. Like you don't know that, but its a downward spiral with the vomiting/dehydration. Ask the perinatalogist about getting fluids at home via a Home Health agency - I know what hell its is to drag your nasuseated body *anywhere*. Email me if you just need to talk. There are some seriously dark, dark days with this shit - be gentle with yourself. Your uterine hitchhikers will steal whatever they need from you, you will just be the one suffering.

Again, email me if you need to "talk" or anything. Also - one more piece of assvice - get help with housework, etc. If someone offers help, screw pride and take it. I hope you are one of the lucky ones and will see relief very, very soon.


Shana said...

I run a website, Babes in Blogland, that lists ttc, expecting, and parenting bloggers to help us all find one another. I've added your site to the blogroll. If you need me to correct any information or if you would like for me to remove the link, please let me know.

Thank you and congratulations.