Monday, October 09, 2006

Good days and bad days

On Friday, I managed to stay at work for five hours, which was pretty awesome. I felt really quite good for most of those hours, too, and I kind of thought maybe I'd hit upon a system that would work for me and that I could make most days like Friday.

Well, Saturday, Sunday, and today haven't been quite so good. I've felt on the verge of vomiting frequently, although I've managed to keep my juice and snacks down. Showering is very nausea-inducing for some reason. Sleep is interrupted and filled with bizarre dreams, but that may happen to everyone.

I've been trying to detect other symptoms so that I can finally feel pregnant instead of just sick. But my boobs haven't done much, my stomach is more or less where it was before, and while I am constipated, that may be more from the Z0fran than from the pregnancy. I'm sure most people don't really feel pregnant by this point, but I'm sort of desperately hoping to feel that way soon so that I can at least get some mental enjoyment out of this state that I'd shed so many tears desiring.

On an unrelated note, one of my young cousins was killed in a car crash near the university where she was a freshman this weekend. The same thing had happened to another cousin of mine (same university, also when he was a freshman) years ago. It is so devastating - I can't even imagine what her siblings and parents are going through right now. I hope I can schlep my sorry ass onto a plane this weekend for the services.

7 comments:

Mary Ellen and Steve said...

I am sorry about the nausea and vomiting. That sounds awful. I am also sorry to hear about your cousin. Thinking of you.

My Reality said...

That is awful news about your cousin. I am sure you would really like to be there for the services, but would that really be a good thing for you to do? Hopefully the puking and stuff will let up for you a bit.

Here is to more days like Friday coming your way.

spark said...

I am so sorry to hear about your cousin. That is horrible. And hope you find some relief to the m/s soon.

Meri-ann said...

I'm so sorry. I lost a dear cousin a few years back and the loss is felt all the time...
Hope you can get on a plane, good luck.

Jane said...

Ugh; terrible news about your cousin. I'm so sorry.

As for "feeling" pregnant, psychologically speaking, it definitely took a while for me. In spite of the physical symptoms -- queasiness, fatigue, sore boobs -- it felt pretty abstract until around the end of the first trimester when I started showing and started feeling more confident that we were out of the "danger zone."

I found it helped me feel more pregnant when I "talked" to the babies very frankly about what I was feeling. I'd say (in my mind, not aloud) things like, "Hey guys, I know you're in there, but I gotta tell you, it's hard to believe." Somehow, it made the pregnancy feel more real. It also made me feel sort of like a crazy person, but whatever.

Heather said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your cousin. That is just awful.

Hope you feel better soon!

Beth said...

I was hoping to come and read that you were doing a little better on the HG front. Are doing Colace (only if you can swallow pills that is)? I am so sorry to hear about your cousin.