Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Then and now

A little before-and-after for you - before HG, after (well, during) HG:

BEFORE:
Worked out 5-7x a week
Took multivitamin, extra folic acid, and fish oil daily
Ate mostly organic diet with lots of fresh fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins
Guzzled at least three liters of water daily
Sipped antioxidant-rich wine nightly
Wrote fiction two hours each morning
Worked a respectable workday at fulfilling job
Walked, cuddled with, and generally showered dog with affection
Cleaned house occasionally
Left house frequently
Showered regularly
Enjoyed regularity of digestive tract

AFTER:
Eschew vitamins because of possible nauseous characteristics
Reluctantly sip diluted apple juice, lemonade, Sierra M!st; despite feeling incredibly thirsty, find self unable to gulp any liquids without feeling immediately seasick (and water - forget it!)
Avoid dog because of intensity of his aroma (thanks to new bionic nose)
Scrape by at job, avoiding queries as to nature of illness
Strain, strain, strain to emit one tiny turd each morning (thanks, Z0fran!)
Lie down immediately after eating in hopes of averting vomiting and retaining nutrition
Shower when forced to by husband (or own pungence)
Lie on couch so much that left hip is sore from facing television
Sleep on back to keep food inside and otherwise violate every paragraph of What to Expect When You're Expecting
Notice large collections of dog hair stampeding through living room; sigh disconsolately
Spend hours ruminating over what you might possibly be able to keep down; ponder whether XYZ food will be regrettable on the way back up; upon reaching a decision, issue proclamation to husband to get it NOW (said in Jack Bauer voice)
Go to great lengths to avoid refrigerator (oh, the smell! bleahhhhhhhhhhhh)
Fart frequently, but still only a small fraction of the frequency of husband; berate husband for said farts, reminding him of bionic nose and intense nausea
Find yourself hostage to the clock and when you can take the next pill
Spend 21 1/2 hours a day inside house
Burst into tears; bemoan fate; feel stupid

3 comments:

bihari said...

Umm....yes. The children, they are not so much with the allowing their parents to have a balanced life. Or any life at all, really.

Still, to have to experience the life-halting aspect of it all when you're still in the first trimester and don't have the baby to squeeze seems massively unfair. As does experiencing it NAUSEATED. BLECH.

Is the Zofran still sort of helping somewhat?

Midwestern Deadbeat said...

HA! Ohh, I am so sorry to laugh at your pain, but this post was funny as hell.

And now that I'm done giggling, you have my complete sympathy. Yes, squeezing the babies may eventually make all this nonsense worth it. Though they fart and puke, too. Mine, in fact, just doused his freshly laundered playmat with a spew of regurgitated breast milk. The ingrate.

Jane said...

Ugh; sounds hideous. I do so fervently hope that it gets better soon. But don't bemoan fate or feel stupid. Just take it easy and take good care of yourself. And trust that the dog will survive the lack of attention. Dogs are resilient that way. Oh, what the hell do I know, I don't have a dog. But I can't imagine he's going to be scarred for life or anything.

And wow, I can't believe you normally work out 5 to 7 times a week.

When's your next ultrasound to find out how the pokey-hearted twin is doing?