Monday, December 18, 2006

The Five Percent Nation of Casiotone

The title is a reference to a lyric in a Soul Coughing song that keeps going through my head. Why? Because the 5% of a bad outcome seems to be where I continue to fall. I think Beth had a post to this effect on her blog.

So fewer than 5% of couples need IVF. Fewer than 5% of pregnant women get hyperemesis. We know where I/we fell there.

Now let me tell you that FISH results are supposed to account for 95% of the things that can be wrong with your baby as shown by the amnio.

Guess who's got that last-5% abnormal result? Us. 20% of our baby's cells have tri.somy 20 mosai.cism. Could mean nothing, could mean a bunch of terrible things. The chances are that nothing is wrong, but there's a 5-10% chance that something is wrong - it could be heart, kidneys, brain. It's hard for me to be optimistic.

I am away from home for two weeks. The doctor is trying to get me an appointment at UCSF tomorrow or the next day for a detailed ultrasound to see if any issues appear there, but of course they might not be able to see if anything is wrong, since what's wrong could be invisible for now.

I am so tired of being on the wrong side of the odds. I was just starting to feel happy and confident in this pregnancy, and now this. If they can't see anything wrong on the ultrasound, I am still going to worry for the next five months - and probably longer, since whatever's wrong (if something is wrong) could take a while to show up.

8 comments:

Meg said...

Motel Manager - I am sorry to hear about this. I hope it is a false alarm and things are ok. Let us know how you go. xxxxx My love.

Emmie said...

Oh man. What are the chances of you being in that 5 percent group yet again? I'm sorry you have to worry about this now. I'm hoping everything is fine and this is just one of those things. I'll be thinking of you.

spark said...

I am so sorry to hear about this. Hope that you fall on the right side of the odds this time and everything turns out fine. I'll be thinking about you.

OHN said...

In some weird way I think it is harder for us now with technology to be able to enjoy a pregnancy. We can find out potential problems before they are even evident and most of the time it causes us worry where none is warranted. I was told terribly scarry things that my baby may or may not have and he is now a normal, obnoxious teenager. Try to take all the "indicators" and put them away in your head somewhere and go with your gut that the baby is fine.

Heather said...

I'm sorry Sweetie. I hope everything turns out alright. I'm here for you and thinking about you guys.

Jane said...

What is the universe thinking?? I'm so sorry you've got this to worry about. At least the odds are in your favor that everything is OK, but that's probably not much comfort.

Thinking about you and sending healthy baby vibes your way....

Hopeful Mother said...

I'm sorry that you are still in a situation of worry. It is SO not fair.

I hope you are able to get that detailed ultrasound so that they can tell you NOW that everything's OK.

It goes without saying that I want everything to be OK. And I want you to be able to be a happy pregnant woman oblivious to statistics.

Midwestern Deadbeat said...

Aw, man! Yes, what IS up with this universe? So sorry you have yet another blasted thing to worry about. It is just not fair.