Saturday, January 26, 2008


So I had my appointment at the RE on Thursday. A few things had changed. First, they'd moved the clinic, along with the regular OB clinic and the specialty clinics (where they treat your gynecologic cancer and/or repair your hoo-ha after childbirth), to a fancy new wing of the already-sprawling hospital. The downside to this merger and relocation is that everyone checks in at the same place, so the infertile are subjected to seeing the heavily pregnant, which didn't happen in the old place, which was on an entirely different floor from the regular clinic. Once you check in, though, you are sent to a different waiting room, which is clearly the infertile ghetto. That said, I actually felt HAPPY to go in there. What the fuck? I was glad to pass the teeming fertile masses in waiting rooms 1 and 2 and step into the warm confines of waiting room 3, where no one was pregnant but everyone had that look on their face that said they were ready for some gallows humor. Or maybe I was projecting. One other change I noticed was that the Go.lden Girls was not playing on the television. Instead, it was on ABC Fa.mily or some such nonsense. I kind of missed Dorothy, Blanche, Sophia, et al.

I was greeted by a nurse I recognized from the old clinic as being a half-wit. Not promising. She said I'd meet with one of the staff doctors that day, either the head of the department or the RE who was pregnant when I had my FET. In the meantime, I saw a physician's assistant who took my history, listened to my well-thought-out requests, and tried to say that she'd bring this up at their weekly meeting. When I insisted upon seeing one of the staff REs, I could tell she was insulted. Well, maybe she should go get her MD and not have to deal with the elitist prejudices of people like me. Really, she seemed quite knowledgeable, but if I am going to schlep my ass into the RE's office, I want to see someone who makes more money than I do.

So the formerly pregnant RE came in, and I will say this about her: she looked very, very tired. I took some solace in that. It then turned out that she is PREGNANT AGAIN and due in early April. And, um, I couldn't tell. Like, I wouldn't have known she was, like, seven months' pregnant, except that she was saying she'd be on maternity leave beginning at the start of April or even earlier. She's tall. Anyway, the deal is that it's pretty easy to schedule an FET, so I just need to decide when to do it. This means I either need to pull the trigger and do one soon or wait until she comes back from leave (since she's the one with the magic ET touch on my crazy cervix). As an aside, I thought it was interesting that they let you schedule ET with a particular RE, because they never let you schedule anything with a particular one otherwise - you just get whoever is on duty that day. But she acknowledged that there might be something voodooish about ET, and they were willing to indulge that.

If I aim for an FET right when she gets back in June, however, and if the damned thing worked, then I would miss my 15th college reunion. I don't want to do that, so I might push it out a bit. But I realize that these sorts of attempts at managing my fate are destined to end poorly, and then I will wish I had just jumped back on the IVF train so that I could be plunging back into fresh cycles or moving onto adoption or buying a my fake baby. So we will see.

On Monday, I am going out of town for an entire week. It is really too painful to imagine being away from for so long. But the stars aligned, and it makes sense for me to combine a couple of intended trips into one long one.

Finally, in case you're dying to know, my sleep has improved over time a great deal. I still wake up frequently, but I'm pretty good at getting back to sleep now, even if I wake up within an hour before my alarm goes off. Phew!


My Reality said...

I guess the formerly pregnant RE doesn't have any fertility issues herself. . . is so cute!

Melissa said...

Ouch! As a student pursuing my Master's degree as a PA, your comments stung just a little! I'm not saying this to stir the pot, but to perhaps offer you some insight into pa's versus md's...and why you should feel perfectly content under the care of a PA.

I am pursuing the PA route not because it's the "easy road" but because PA's can offer the same, if not better care without the politics that go along with being an MD. Medical doctors have so much on their plate besides patients-worries about malpractice, insurance premiums, practice management...It's a lot to handle on top of the pressure of just caring for patient's. I feel, that as a PA I can focus all my attention on my patients without all the politics getting in the way. And I feel that my education is just as valid.

I used to have the same views regarding PA's-that they were subpar, inexperienced and not as knowledgeable. But that is simply not the case. The best care I have received lately is from PA's. They have more time to sit and listen to patient concerns and if it makes you feel better, they consult with the doctor on many cases.

Anyway...I just wanted you to know that you don't have to feel like you are getting sub par care if you're forced to see the PA and not the real MD. I only want to help you feel more comfortable if this is the scenario-not to stir the pot at all. I'm hoping and praying that I did not come off this way at all.

Best of luck to you in the new clinic.

TLB said...

If she's the one with the magic touch, you gotta go with her. If she's got one baby and another on the way, she's GOT to be tired.

Motel Manager said...

Hi, Melissa - My PA commentary was really meant just to be (mildly) amusing, not reflective of my real feelings about PAs. I actually see a PA instead of an orthopedist for my knee problems, and I think she is awesome and probably way better than the actual orthopedists, who would likely immediately recommend surgery (there's another stereotype for you!). In this case, I just wanted to see the RE because I've known all of them for a long time now (sigh) and wanted to make sure my requests and questions were communicated directly, with nothing lost in translation. The PA was new to the clinic.

I will leave this (my initial barb, your thoughtful reply) up for posterity, however, since your comments might be useful for somebody who's Googling PA vs. MD type of questions.

Meg said...

Wow, I never heard of a PA - I guess we don't have them here. Most of our IVF cycles are 99% managed by nurses though (apart from setting the protocols)

glad to hear the sleeping is a little better. I hope your week away from goes quickly. He is such a cutester - thanks for posting a recent pic.