No babies were bronzed in the making of this photo

Did that get your attention? It's part of our holiday card photo montage for this year. Those of you who know us IRL will be getting the full package, but the rest of you can just chuckle away at this shot. No, we didn't turn the machine on (even though that baby sure could use a base tan). Yes, we do exploit our child to make ourselves seem hilarious.

Here's a slightly different angle. I inadvertently uploaded this one at first, and now Blogger won't let me delete it, because Blogger is full of as.shole necrophil.iac child pornog.raphers who cut in line and also telemarket.

Contrasts

Here's a photo of So.ren's second time in the water at the hotel in Mexico. The first time didn't go that poorly, but the second time upset him for some reason. I suppose this is similar to the way in which I tend to find reputedly unpleasant things "not bad at all" the first time I do them, and then I grow to dread them more and more as time wears on until I break out into convulsions at the mere thought of them (examples: Pa.p smears, PIO shots).

Our trip to Cabo for the wedding was very enjoyable, although So.ren determined that 5am was an appropriate time to get the day going while on vacation. We did banish him to the bathroom, which was just large enough to hold the pack-n-play but which presented us with some challenges regarding going to the bathroom when he was napping (it wasn't such a big deal in the middle of the night, since he stays asleep better then).

Our trip home was significantly less enjoyable than the trip there. First, So.ren shrieked for approximately 30 minutes on the Cabo-to-Dallas leg, and the women (did I say women? I meant skanky bitches) in front of us muttered something to each other about trying a pacifier since it "helps the ears," which I had been doing for about 20 of those 30 minutes. It was a good thing I didn't hear them (only my husband did), or I might have remarked that diet and exercise were good ways to lose weight, YOU HIDEOUS BAGS OF FLESH WITH UGLY PANTS ON. Not only am I saintly, I am also mature.

Anyway, the second less-than-enjoyable point of our return trip was that getting through immigration, customs, and security in Dallas took nearly two hours. That three-hour layover suddenly seemed rather tight. We did successfully get on our next flight, and So.ren successfully passed out as soon as we were in motion, and we successfully made it through some rather bumpy parts of the flight with lightning in the distance (I hate flying at night and in bad weather), and soon we successfully landed in the Midwest, where the temperature was...wait for it...70 degrees COLDER than it had been when we left Mexico.

But at least we made it in. Things took a turn for the worse around here yesterday, when an ice storm knocked out our power. I will say that it is really beautiful around here, particularly when viewed from inside.

Gastrointestinal update

After a week had passed and no one else in my house had fallen ill, I permitted myself to think, "Hey, no one else has gotten sick!" Sensing my hubris, the universe then proceeded to make the following people fall ill in short order: my son, my husband, both babysitters, and a friend's toddler daughter. Wow, nice work, universe!

I even took So.ren to the ER on Sunday since he projectile-vomited and seemed listless. They said he wasn't dehydrated but that I was not entirely insane for bringing him in, which I appreciated because although it was probably not true (ie, I am entirely insane), it demonstrated good bedside manner on the part of the young resident.

Since we're leaving for Mexico tomorrow, I was a bit concerned for several reasons. First, because of So.ren's health, naturally, but also because what would we do if we couldn't go to this wedding?!? The bride and groom met at our wedding, for god's sake! We have to be there! Which they may not appreciate when they both get So.ren's GI bug and spend the ceremony puking!

In any case, he seems recovered now. All of the adults recovered quickly. So.ren had his six-month checkup (a couple of weeks late) yesterday, and he clocked in at the 97th percentile for height, 95th for head circumference, and 60th for weight. That last measurement might have been artificially low due to his puking and pooping and lack of appetite. Hey, he can be a wrestler someday!

Anyway, I hope we all make it to and from Mexico in good condition. So.ren has a 29-inch bag packed full of stuff just for him since we are bringing literally every single thing he will need aside from bottled water to make his formula. I hope you are all doing well!