I should change the name of this blog to Chronicles of a Hypochondriac.

Since we last spoke, I have spiraled deeper and deeper into the inferno of hypochondria.  I mean, really, people -- what's going to happen to me when I'm old and actually infirm?  Maybe I'll be inured to it all by then.  Sheesh.

So last weekend, I began having these sharp, stabbing pains in my sternum.  It kind of felt as if I'd swallowed a nail, sideways.  But it just came in little two-second bursts, and I thought it would go away.  But it kept occurring, and on Tuesday morning, I had a bunch of these episodes.  Now, as you know, I'm a big advocate of Dr. Google, believing that most sensible people can take what it gives you with a grain of salt.  But this, friends, was one occasion in which I should not have consulted the doctor, since one thing that came up was aortic dissection, which does have a higher frequency during pregnancy.  Just Google it to see what comes up.  

So I went to the ER to get it checked out.  After all, if I were going to need a 20-hour surgery, those 20 hours might as well start sooner rather than later.  They sent me up to Labor & Delivery because I'm over 20 weeks, and the OB on call said her leading suspicions were damage to the esophagus from heartburn and puking or gallstones.  Liver function tests came back normal, though, suggesting gallstones were not the issue.

I then had an appointment with my regular OB, who was at a bit of a loss but suggested Ga.viscon to soothe the esophagus.  This did seem to help a little, but as soon as I began taking it, I also started getting very strong menstrual cramps and diarrhea.  The first day, they went away.  Yesterday, they lasted the whole day, and I was sure I was going into preterm labor.  As an experiment, I stopped the Ga.viscon, and, lo and behold, no cramps this morning.

But then So.ren and I were in the coffee shop, and I put him down for a second to put a lid on my tea, and then I picked him up -- ohhhh, and I knew even at the moment that I should be bending my knees -- and I have completely thrown out/wrenched my lower back.  I have done this once before in my life, when I was maybe 25.  I am bordering on incapacitated.  Can you even take anything while you're pregnant?  I think one of my friends took Vicod.in or something.  I'll call the OB, who no doubt views me as cross to be borne.

I guess I'll settle in to some hurricane coverage (my parents live in the path of the storm and have some moronic plan to stay there, see if they lose power (almost certain), and THEN drive to their inland weekend house after the storm.  You know, when there'll be downed trees, buildings, power lines, etc.) and hope for the best.

[In other catastrophe-related news, I hit a parked car, doing MAJOR damage (ie, two new doors required) to my car.  I took my car in to be repaired and got a rental car, which promptly got a flat tire as the result of some metal sticking out of the curb near our house.  I think I should just stay inside.]

Our first good look at F.ranz.

Aren't these 4D ultrasounds creepy?  It looks as if F.ranz is dissolving at the edges -- the tech couldn't get a good angle on him.  She said that she wouldn't normally do a 4D ultrasound at 20 weeks, but since I "imaged well," she did.  Whatever that means.

Anyway, there was good news to be had.  F.ranz is measuring on target, and no anatomical abnormalities jumped out.  The tech couldn't even find the SCH, but the doctor was able to, though he said it was "tiny" and looked to be going away.  He said that this was likely to have no effect on the rest of the pregnancy, though perhaps I still have a slightly elevated risk of something occurring.  Additionally, he said it looked like the bleed had been at the edge of the placenta and had NOT lifted up the placenta at all, which is fabulous news.

He said I could exercise but that I should avoid running.  That's fine with me.  He also said I could schedule another appointment with them in six weeks or so to check the SCH, which of course I plan on doing. 

Needless to say, I am VERY relieved.  My regular OB appointment is next week.  I resolve to enjoy this pregnancy!  Until I read a blog where someone has some weird thing happen to her at 24 weeks, and then I'll irrationally worry about that!  

I am a housewife.

Notice that I did not say stay-at-home mom.  That's because So.ren has started his nanny share, which we lined up for a few reasons: (1) there's lots of openings in good nanny shares this time of year, since one kid is often rolling out to go to preschool, (2) I will be working full-time eventually again, and (3) you're not supposed to suddenly pitch your child into a new childcare arrangement when you have another kid, since kid #1 will be traumatized enough already.  Oh, and (4), I thought it would be good for So.ren to get used to being with another boy all day long (in this case, the boy is older, but sharing knows no age limits).  

But since I'm pregnant, I'm just doing freelance projects.  And not really all that many of them.  So mostly I'm an old-fashioned housewife for the next few months.  While I definitely think being a SAHM is a huge amount of work and equivalent to any outside-the-home job, being a housewife is not really all that justifiable, in my opinion.  Maybe my opinion will change as I come to learn the nuances of this august position.

Tomorrow is my 20-week ultrasound.  I was getting nervous because I felt Fr.anz move for a few days, then not for a couple of days, but then I felt him again this morning.  I am determined to relax as much as possible if I have a good ultrasound.  After all, I can just sit around all day, doing yoga and eating bonbons.

And, hey, I have a sort-of-celebrity due-date buddy!